Category Archives: reflection

“A Boy’s Best Friend Is His Mother.”

Last night I watched Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho for the very first time. I’m not sure why it took me so long, I certainly don’t have ignorance to pin on. The reasons might have been plain disinterest as well as a spoiled sort of prejudice against black and white films. I don’t regret it however because the person I am today is able to take a lot more from the experience of watching Psycho than the thrill of the suspense it provides. I found myself studying and dissecting each scene’s framing, lighting, character movement, music and storytelling choices. I understand better now and agree with the sentiment that Hitchcock is indeed the Master of Suspense.

I was not aware of the movie’s plot although thanks to pop culture I knew that there would be a scene in a bathroom where a woman is violently (obviously) stabbed to death in the shower. The Simpson’s, Pee Wee Herman, That 70’s Show, Police Academy, Looney Toons: Back In Action are just a few examples that I can name off the top of my head that have parodied or referenced Psycho. It’s theme music and that scene in which Marion Crane meets her unfortunate demise being the film’s most recognised and popular elements.

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South Park Episode: City Sushi & Psycho Visual Comparison

In season 15 of the animated satire series South Park, a long established Asian character Tuong Lu Kim is discovered to be in fact a Caucasian man who suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder. Dr Janus is a child psychiatrist who also has several alternate personas with the most dominant persona being Mr Kim, the apparent owner of the local Chinese restaurant. For years Janus has effectively convinced the people of South Park that he is indeed the Chinese “Tuong Lu Kim” by squinting his eyes and speaking in a stereotypical Chinese accent. The end of the episode visually and narratively echoes the same scene in Psycho almost entirely, even up to the point where the faces of Mr Kim and Norman Bates are overlaid with the ghostly images of Dr Janus and Mrs Bates. In both stories this is to signify to the viewer that the alternate personality has completely taken over and dominated the original persona.

Psycho (1960) Original Ending Scene

As mentioned earlier, this was my first viewing of Psycho and tried hard to keep an open mind about what will or might happen in the film. As most other human beings I often seek out to guess the plot of a mystery film before I have seen it thoroughly. But this time I followed Marion Crane’s journey all the way up to her shocking death in the first half hour of the film. Stephen King said, “People remember the first time they experienced Janet Leigh, and no remake or sequel can top that moment when the curtain is pulled back and the knife starts to do its work.” On that I agree with him wholeheartedly, Janet Leigh’s character death was as unexpected as it was abrupt. Even prior knowledge of what would happen didn’t prepare me for the experience of watching the film itself. All parts of me were imploring Marion to move and to just ‘not’ be dead even as I continued to watch Norman calmly and methodically dispose of her lifeless body. Now that the character that I’ve attached myself to as protagonist has become a victim I reverted back to my habit of over analysing and second guessing the rest of the film.

By the end of the film I was quite buzzed about all the different narrative and psychological tropes that I recognised like the abusive mother and child relationship which led to Norman developing a split personality disorder. His fear, love and hatred of his mother that led the memory of her to take up permanent residence in his psyche. I was never bought over as a child by Disney movies that seem to give the message to children that no matter how much abuse or trauma they may encounter as a child they must remain a happy and hopeful symbol in a film where only a villain is allowed to experienced an emotional hangup. People are terribly fragile, their minds even more so. And what happens to them while growing up will definitely have consequences in their future. Some will become adults who are driven to kill by some terrible urge within them and there are those who simply want to bring suffering to another. There is a theory written about the differences between a sociopath and a psychopath. The general consensus is that psychopaths are born and sociopaths are products of their environment. Parental absence or abuse being the main reason for sociopathic behaviour. When engaging in criminal activity psychopaths tend to be more calculated and careful not to implicate themselves, sociopaths on the other hand are impulsive. Their behaviour rising into an uncontrollable onset of rage with little regard for the risks or consequences of their actions.

In accordance with this theory, Norman Bates in Psycho could be assumed to be exhibiting more sociopathic behaviours rather than psychopathic but the lines between them are blurred. As an only child raised in a stifled environment by a controlling, cruel and overbearing mother his dependency and attachment to her grew to the point that when she finally decided to get married and get a life of her own he killed her and her husband in rage. Unable to deal with what he had done and her absence, he created a persona of his mother in his mind to the point that it become separate entity that could take him over for certain periods of time.

Slavoj Zizek On Norman Bate’s House

Slavoj Zizek gave a brief but interesting analysis of Psycho, he focused on how the visual representation of Norman’s subjective mind the film is presented through the three levels of his mother’s house. The ground floor being his ego; the normal, rational and earnest Norman Bates who runs the motel. Up the stairs to the first floor where his mother’s bedroom is the super ego; the judgemental and overbearing part of his mind that projects itself as the image and voice of his mother. And down into the cellar in which he carries her body from the first floor represents the id. The id is the source of our bodily needs, wants, desires, and impulses, particularly our sexual and aggressive drives. His act of keeping Mother in the cellar can be seen as a metaphor for his attempt to hide super ego into his id; attempting to use the representation of the over controlling and judgemental part of himself to control his wild, violent and impulsive nature. From what I understand from Zizek’s statement he states that the super ego and the id are tied close together and that when the super ego feels threatened (when ‘Mother’ see’s Normal becoming attracted to another woman) the id will consume and take control over Norman. He is driven to kill the threat to his super ego.

Wow, ok this is becoming a very long entry. I feel that I should point out that I’m merely summarising and reflecting about these theories and I do not know enough of criminal psychology to express myself accurately and succinctly. I have a bit of an interest in researching crime murder, criminal psychology and forensic science. I would not call it a passion as I think my interest stems from a need to understand and accept the fact that people with violent mental disturbances and homicidal tendencies exist which is what this reflection is based around.

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Parallax Art Fair

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Parallax Art Fair!

It happened! The big weekend came and went, it was incredible fun and quite a success. Daniel and I travelled to London on the night bus on Thursday and arrived early Friday in plenty of time for my hanging slot at 5pm. With all the other artists scrambling to put up their work it was hectic, crowded and stiflingly hot. We did manage to get the frames, name card holders and stickers up before the opening ceremony and I had a few minutes to explore and admire the rest of exhibition before the crowds arrived. I have to admit I was felt nervous about how my work would be received, not only by the visitors but by the other artists at the fair. However, I still felt pride in my work and of my space which looked well put together and presented. No regrets at all.

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Constellation Owl & Cheeky Fox

Since the space that I had was about 150cm in width I decided to feature only the best of my smoke paintings; The Fox & The Crane, Red Stag, Qilin, Chinese Dragon, Constellation Owl and Cheeky Fox Face (everybody seems to adore the painted fox’s sweet face as much as I do). All of the paintings are Gicleé prints on Awagami’s Washi paper that I bought online from Japan. I wanted the prints to appear as if they were printed traditionally and the combination of Gicleé and washi paper worked.

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Qilin & Chinese Dragon

I spent most of the next two days standing by my work, greeting and talking to anyone who stopped by. Everyone who came forward to chat with me were very kind and seemed genuinely interested to know about me and what I did. I had lost count of the number of people who asked how I painted them and to be honest, this is a question that I do not like to answer. Most of the illustrations are at least finished digitally and most people still have this notion that digital work is considered a ‘cheat’ when compared to traditional paintings. My opinions about people who assume this are not exactly positive but I always try to explain that for me digital work requires as much consideration as traditional does and that each artist will find their own work pattern when utilising either medium. I can’t say that I enjoyed having to defend how I paint to practically every person I spoke to But I understand that if I want to continue showing and selling my smoke paintings publicly that I will have to. For the time being I can accept this.

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Looking Awkward & Terrified In Front Of My Work

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My Assistant For The Weekend

I am very happy to have gotten through this weekend in one piece. There’s no doubt in my mind that I would not have been able to get through this weekend without help from Daniel. For one thing, I wasn’t tall enough to attach the top picture frames and the organisers did not provide chairs nor ladders. Or tools. I knew that it will take a lot of effort and heavy lifting to get everything from Dundee to London, set everything up and haul it back to Dundee but first hand experience is the best teacher as usual. I do not know if I will take part in Parallax Art Fair again as it is quite an expensive endeavour but I am not ruling it out entirely as they have another show in July and one in New York as well. At the tail end of my adventure I can state with confidence that it has been a very rewarding weekend in all aspects. I always enjoy visiting London because it makes me feel so grateful that my home is Dundee. Whether I stay in Dundee is up to fate (and a lot of handwork on my part) but I wouldn’t trade the first fresh breath of Scottish air I get when I come back from this journey for anything.

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I Managed To Sell Something!

Idea Nuggets: Alan Watts

The next Idea Nugget that I pitched to the group is based around a short audio segment of a talk that philosopher Alan Watts gave titled Out Of Your Mind. In this segment he encourages the listener to explore the possibilities of life through looking at one’s dreams. To consider oneself as a part of the world and hence ‘not as something here on probation’. The group was open about pitching a more reflective and philosophical idea to Axis so Sheila and I paired the audio with a short video clip from WWF Hungary Paper World animation that was directed by László Ruska and Dávid Ringeisen. Krish had shown us the video and the pairing of philosophy and origami animals fitted. Most people can relate to the need to question one’s purpose of existences, the reasons why and how and what do I do with myself today. Animals however do not have feelings of existential crisis, paper animals less so I should think. But I find the connection between the three as one that makes sense. At this point I haven’t a clue as to how this pitch can be be realised in a proper animation production but for the moment I think that it’s worth putting on paper and pushing forward.

I  have box hidden somewhere in my flat filled to the brim with origami cranes. After spending money on fancy origami paper I realised that receipts are actually a lot better than washi origami paper if a person wants to fold a teeny tiny crane. There is a Japanese urban myth that claims that folding a thousand cranes within a year will grant you a single wish. Now that I am in the last and probably final stage of my formal education I think it’s time to get back to folding. Just for luck.

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Cranes In a Box

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The Smallest Crane I’ve Ever Folded

After stumbling over a drawing/painting tutorial by Loish, I felt inspired and fired up. I took a couple of hours off yesterday to sketch random female drawings but only produced a single page that I felt remotely satisfied with.

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Some Sketches

Presentation Reflection

Yesterday was the big presentation day. All of the late nights working and raging at Photoshop and Z-Brush led to this morning and it was great! I thought that I would not have much to talk about today and I would be scrambling for words. It was not the case yesterday fortunately and I found that I had plenty to say about the work that I did and the improvements that I wanted to make when it came to this particular project. Working with Z-Brush for the first time (and as a last minute edition) was a pretty gruelling experience but once I became more familiar with the program’s interface sculpting the character became a joy. I agree with the tutors that it would be a good idea to take this character further, there’s a lot more that can be done with it and I would like to try to bring him into Maya and project the hi-poly image onto a lower poly model that can be rigged and hopefully animated someday. There’s also proper texturing, lighting and rendering in Maya that I have not explored as thoroughly as I should. Maya is an industry standard program that I feel that I must know very well but at this point I’m more efficient sculpting models in Z-Brush. But to summarise my thoughts; the project was a very productive, gruelling and educational experience. And I want more of it.

[Blog]PresentationSlides Presentation Slides (11 December 2015)

Oh and earlier this week I had my final print sale for 2015 at DUSA. I managed to get a table close to a a electrical socket so in between selling prints and smiling awkwardly at people I managed to get a little sculpting done as well. I really enjoy taking part of fairs and selling small pieces of my work. It takes a little work to search for such open events but I really hope that I would get more opportunities like these in the future.

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DUSA Christmas Fayre (8 December 2015)